I have been in a flare for about a week. Lots of stressful family drama going on, high humidity, not enough sleep -everyone with Fibro has the same story..
Today, at work. I am so brain dead. I don’t know how well I can fake today to get through it. I have already made 2 mistakes that I was able to reverse. Two mistakes that I were able to reverse, this is not counting the numerous times I entered a number and it was transposed or spelled a word incorrectly. Several times I had to close my eyes to think of the word that was missing from my tongue. It was there. The mind raced in circles trying to recover the word. It was actually an action that could be seen in my mind. Words spinning till the right one popped out.
I do have supportive co-workers and a boss. However, I still feel the need to lie or fake it. I get so scared when the fog gets this bad. I can deal with the constant pain etc…… ..). But the memory fog. Scares me into lying or faking my day, I love and NEED my job so bad. I realize that I have FMLA but that still doesn’t take away the fear of losing my job or the confidence my co-workers have always had in me because I am losing my mind.
Do you declare a brain dead day? Seriously let them know that your brain has died and you can’t function. What kind of faith will they have in you when asking you to figure out pay off mortgage totals? or researching legal addresses. At what point does it become a safety issue? Could the fog impair other aspects of one’s life?
I have read many postings on fellow fibromites who have misplaced household items, vehicles, and even pets. We all seem to say what happened laughing at ourselves in astonishment at “WOW, can’t believe this happened”. Here I am admitting that it isn’t laughter that we are really feeling~it is fear. Fear of the unkown. Fear of being perfectly aware of the fact that I am living in a fog or brain dead.