To tell or not to tell… that is the question.

To tell or not to tell… that is the question.

Up until today, I have shared this blog site with 3 people. This has been my journal of thoughts, venting, whinning. I was afraid that I was beginning to scare people off.
When I was first diagnosed, I shared with anyone who would ask “how are you feeling”. I think it made me feel better to announce to the world that “I have something wrong with me – IT IS NOT JUST IN MY HEAD”. I was able to have an answer for why I felt so bad, why I was so tired, why I had been going to so many appts. When someone would ask me I would spill. It was nice to have people listen to me complain and have a valid reason for it.
Then.. it got to be just an awful thing for someone to ask how I was feeling. Were they trying to see if I could function at my job? Did they really care? Was it to see if I was getting better with all the meds and the appts? Maybe – now that I know what is wrong – it is an easy fix. I started to use “peachy” as my not so good day descriptions without giving any details. I began to hate the question. How are you? UGH… I AM SICK.. I am having a good/bad/awful – week/day/hour. Want a list – of where I don’t hurt – it’s shorter than where I do hurt. I started getting tired of explaining to peopl who don’t have fibro what it feels like. I just wanted to be skipped over – good morning .. that’s all.
Now, I still don’t care for the question. How are you? But I do know that a select handful of people really care, really want to help on those awful moments. I am trying to not respond so negatively or in detail except to those few people. It is so much easier when I am flare up free to respond “I feel great – tired and a bit sore (THAT IS GREAT). When I am in my next flare up – knock on wood – it will be awhile – I promise to let those who care enough to hound me with the question know how I am really feeling the best that I can.
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