“Take care of yourself … and life will follow”

Today, is the Friday before Memorial Day weekend.  My entire Family had made their plans and I thought what a great chance to go to visit my Grandma.

When I “go home” for visits I always feel so rushed and torn that I am never spending enough time with any of them.  I have my Parents, my sister, my Grandma, a Great Aunt, and  friends that I want to visit.  Seeing as how our visits are usually from a Friday to Sunday.  It makes it impossible to see everyone that I want to see.

I thought this would be a great time.  I was even thinking that I have made Fibro friends that live in towns that I pass on my way down that I could ask if anyone wanted to go for a cappuccino/coffee, meet in person.  I would be able to get a good stretch in and then head on my way.

I would visit for 3 days and be able to spend plenty of time with my Grandma, her Sister, a few friends, and still have time to sit down, write or even maybe relax. (I may have to be reminded what “relax” means again).

I have been looking forward to this trip for a long time.

I hit a flare on Monday and have not been able to get rid of it.  Today it decided to add a headache leading to a migraine.

I have worked every day this week (10 hours on Wed).  I am taking Vicodin every 4 hours which basically takes my pain from a 10 to a 5.  I have been waking up every 3 hours needing to adjust, apply ice or heat, and take another pain-killer.

I seldom stay down even with a flare.  I push through them.

However,  the trip is 4 1/2 hours without stops.  I would need to stop a lot.  In addition,  my body needs these pain pills right now.   I only use them when I am in a bad flare.  I do not take them when I am going to drive.  I take them after I arrive at my destination.  I know that being in a flare can cause enough “fog” or unclear thinking leading to reaction times not being “normal”.

It was such a hard decision.  I decided to stay home and to what will be a surprise to many of the readers ~ I have not yet gone to work.

I posted this on my Fibro page this week;

This is the perfecthealthy post for me right now.  I am supposed to go to Illinois  by myself this Friday to spend the weekend with my Grandma.  I am in such a flare, pain is highest ever. I know I should stay home even tho it means missing my Grandma and that my husband and Daughter will be off on their own weekend plans.  The guilt is worse than the pain sometimes.  I don’t miss things, I even worked ten hours thru pain and tears because I knew my Mgr needed my help. We do need to take care of ourselves.  Not always an easy choice but the right one.

Many of my FB friends posted two scenarios.  They either make themselves do everything no matter how much pain and suffering they are going through at the time or they miss out on all of the family/friend events that they want so desperately to attend.

I know that I am the first example and am scared to death of becoming the  second.  I personally find nothing wrong with either of the choices.

I think that like everything in life I need to find a way to balance both choices.  I realize that if I don’t take care of myself and keep going I end up worse and then I am no good to anyone especially myself.
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