Confessions of a fatigued fibromite.

What have you done due to fatigue?

I was posting things I have done because of fatigue/”fibro fog”. After sharing my stories others began to share theirs. I saw myself in everyone of their stories. I know it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone.

MY CONFESSIONS

I stood in front of my office door pushing the button on my key wondering why it was not opening my door. It took longer than I care to admit for me to realize that I had been clicking my car remote door opener.

I told my daughter to meet me at the bank. I got there and texted her telling her that I was there waiting for her. She called asking where I was. She had gone to a different bank in town. I was positive that she was at the wrong bank. In fact, she even drove over to the bank I was at meanwhile I had told the lady at the bank that my daughter was late because she had gone to the wrong bank. She arrived and we handed the teller the information for her to make the deposit. You guessed it. She didn’t have an account there. She had been at the right bank but the good kid she is instead of arguing with me or saying something about my memory we just drove over to the correct bank did our banking and went about our day.

CONFESSIONS OF OTHER FATIGUED FIBROMITES

“I sprayed hairspray under both arms before realizing that it was not deodorant.”

“I put milk in the cabinet & cereal in the refrigerator.”

“I fall asleep in the shower.”

“I had to stop putting my socks on standing up. My balance has gotten really bad, but it’s mostly because I put my shoes on next, like auto pilot. Know where this is going? Socks, shoes, pants! Then I would fall over because my foot would foot would get stuck in my pants leg because I had already put my shoes on.”

“I arrived at doc appointments at wrong docs and times. But it’s rare. Once, I went for yearly check up and had absolutely no memory of having ever been there or seen the staff before but they knew me. Freaked me out because my father has advanced dementia. It never came to me. Still don’t remember them. I walked in office saying, did you move?”

“I drove to the wrong city for 1 of my medical appointments! I was about 1 hour farther out than I needed to be at their main location. Now I can’t even drive myself anymore…who knows what would happen…I would for sure fall asleep at the wheel before I made it!”

“My big one is getting home from the grocery store, and I’m so wiped out sometimes that my mind blanks on one of the bags, so something doesn’t end up in the fridge or freezer that should have. I hate when I do that!”

“I went to a hair appointment Tues. when it was actually not till Thurs.”

“I tried to put the milk in the kitchen cabinet one day. The only reason I didn’t is because it wouldn’t fit.”

“A couple weeks ago, I was sitting in the car, that I’ve had since 2013, waiting for my husband. He came back to the car to tell me something and I had no clue how to roll the window down or open the door. I sat and played with the locks, until I found the handle…lol Yes, funny, yet scary!”

“I have no more drinking glasses left. I broke them all. I would just randomly drop them. Plastic is the new glass in my household.”

“Personally I like fibro pregnancy brain duo. lol I put everything in the freezer or wrong cabinets.”

“Drove my preteen daughter to the wrong school for morning drop off….! Luckily she noticed! Haha!”

“I put my phone and umbrella in the fridge one morning.”

I have been struggling with fatigue more than usual these past few months. I will end this blog by sharing that when I began to proof read the above article it appeared to be longer than I had remembered. I found out why. I had posted each of the stories 2-3 times.

Share your stories in the comment box below.

“Wishing you sun~filled days & rest~filled nights”

Who Cares?

Originally posted on Prohealth.com on October 8, 2016

whocaresWe have all done it. We have lied or told half truths when asked the question, “How are you?”.

How many people in our lives do we share our true level of pain we are feeling every day, physically and emotionally?

As I walk down the school hallways every day to refill my water bottle I pass a Teacher who always says “Hi!” and asks “How’s it going?

I smile (a forced smile), replying “Hi!, Good.”

I caught myself in my head the other day saying “Liar, Liar Pants on Fire”. I am anything but good.

When asked how are you by a co-worker or a store clerk it’s more of a common courtesy question. Am I being rude by not responding when asked how I am doing? Or is it okay, since they are not asking for real because “How are you?”, is simply a greeting not an invitation to unload your daily list of complaints.

Can you imagine if I replied, “My neck and back are causing me a new intense pain. It hurts to turn my head. It is causing headaches. I can’t get the right balance between not able to go to the bathroom or having to go to the bathroom ASAP. My right hand has started hurting when using scissors, etc. My knee feels like it is going out every time I try to stand. I had to be helped into the bathtub this weekend.”

If we began answering the truth how long would it take for that person to stop asking?

I get it. I have known people who tell everyone absolutely every negative detail in their lives. It gets old.

What about our family or the people that live with us?

Eventually for many of us those that we live with stop asking. Maybe they just assume they know the answer already. It doesn’t mean they have stopped caring.

My daughter is 16, she is busy surviving high school. I don’t expect it of her.

I mentioned to my husband awhile ago that he doesn’t ask me how I am feeling any more. He said, “I don’t have to, I can tell by how you get out of the chair and how you are walking.”

Ok, so he sees it but that really isn’t what is needed.

The past few weeks I have acquired new health problems and a very high level of pain. It has kept me from doing things that I would normally push through and has brought me to tears daily.

Then just this weekend we were hosting a cross country bon-fire and I was asked, “What do you need help with?” I muttered under my breath, “Just end it.”

It has crossed over the line of just physical pain and is now affecting my emotional well-being.
I am to the point where I have to let the truth out because if I keep answering “fine,” I will find myself on the road to depression.

Are we more likely to open up about physical pain than when we are feeling depressed?

I think it is easier or more acceptable for someone to comment “my knee has been killing me” than “emotionally/mentally I am …”

What if someone asked, “How are you today?”, and we replied, “I want to jump.”

Can you imagine how others would react? Instead, we answer fine, good or in my case on crummy days, “peachy”.

What if there is no one you can tell the whole truth? No one to listen to you cry? Crying alone is one thing but crying in a room with others without any reaction is being alone.

Often we stop sharing the truth when we answer because it is easier for us. It’s much harder to share our long list of ailments. We want to be polite. We don’t want to ruin the other person’s day. We don’t want to be “a downer” or “negative.”

Those living with chronic pain such as fibromyalgia often become isolated. It is so easy to focus on our pain. It’s easy to feeling alone when you can’t talk about how you are really doing.

Thank goodness for support groups where we can share the truth of how we’re really feeling.

Everyone needs someone in their lives where they can share the truth to the question…

“How are you.”