Not too little, Not too much, Just enough (is that possible)?

“The Gift of Balance in Your Life – May you find the balance of life, time for work but also time for play. Too much of one thing ends up creating stress that no one needs in their life.” – Catherine Pulsifer

We are always being told to find that perfect balance. I have friends who their job is to help others find that perfect balance to help them figure out how to commit time and keep the commitments. I have always been someone who once I have decided to do something goes 100% (maybe a bit too much). I don’t always remember when I should say no or rest.

I had not been getting enough sleep or exercise. My body sent me into a very miserable flare this past week. Instead of traveling 4 1/2 hours to stay with my Grandma for the weekend I decided to stay home.

My family went on their scheduled trips and I was left home alone with the 3 cats.

During those 4 days, I housed up totally in the bedroom(something I have never done). Our bed has the ergo feature, I was able to sit up, have the lap top, my cell phone, NCIS marathon, the cats to keep me company, who could ask for anything more. I stayed in the dark room except for the restroom and refrigerator. I didn’t eat well at all and def did not drink enough water. I slept so much. I honestly can’t recall sleeping so much ever.

Saturday was the only day that I ventured out of the house. I went to work, ran a few errands, took a nap, went out to dinner with a gf and back to sleep again.

Sunday was a repeat of sleeping and staying in the room. On Sunday night when my Husband came home my pain and depression was the highest I can remember.

On Monday morning when I woke up I left my bed only to end up on the couch and asleep again. I woke up an hour later in even more pain.

I began to cry and couldn’t stop.

I started to ramble all of my frustrations coming out at once. “I don’t know how much more I can take”.

I understand why altho my neighbor/friend has lost the love of his life how he is getting some relief. Someone said how she had suffered with Fibromyalgia for 30 years. His comment was he himself had it for that long as well. He hadn’t personally suffered the pain and exhaustion. But he had watched his love suffer, had been there to offer what ever help she needed, had lost sleep etc for just as long as she had. He can now do things such as cleaning and redoing the house that he couldn’t do before. Altho she was unable to physically do the cleaning herself. She was adamant that other people not do it. He must feel some pressure off his very strong wonderful shoulders.

I said it would be easier if they didn’t have to deal with all of this.  Our daughter was trying to convince me via text that she should be able to bring home a puppy.  I kept saying no for various reasons.  I couldn’t tell her that I was lying on the floor in extreme pain, crying, couldn’t remember to take my meds, and the bills ~ ugh.  Will they get worse each time? I wish I knew how to answer that question.

Once I got through the tears; I decided to get up and get dressed. I had a long list of things to get done a daughter coming home and needed to get moving.

Just the few days that I had spent in the dark room, not moving had caused me to feel worse. I know that I feel better when I am moving. The act of me getting dressed, doing the laundry, working on bills, being active helped not only decrease the pain but improve my mental state. I spent the day taking turns between doing chores and resting.

We are always hearing how we need to find that perfect balance whether it is work/play, the food groups, or active and rest. Balance may not only be the key to a happy life but a lower pain filled life.

“Life is best enjoyed when time periods are evenly divided between labor, sleep, and recreation..all people should spend one-third of their time in recreation which is rebuilding, voluntary activity, never idleness.”Brigham Young

warriorI am a Fibro Warrior ~ Living Life

“Take care of yourself … and life will follow”

Today, is the Friday before Memorial Day weekend.  My entire Family had made their plans and I thought what a great chance to go to visit my Grandma.

When I “go home” for visits I always feel so rushed and torn that I am never spending enough time with any of them.  I have my Parents, my sister, my Grandma, a Great Aunt, and  friends that I want to visit.  Seeing as how our visits are usually from a Friday to Sunday.  It makes it impossible to see everyone that I want to see.

I thought this would be a great time.  I was even thinking that I have made Fibro friends that live in towns that I pass on my way down that I could ask if anyone wanted to go for a cappuccino/coffee, meet in person.  I would be able to get a good stretch in and then head on my way.

I would visit for 3 days and be able to spend plenty of time with my Grandma, her Sister, a few friends, and still have time to sit down, write or even maybe relax. (I may have to be reminded what “relax” means again).

I have been looking forward to this trip for a long time.

I hit a flare on Monday and have not been able to get rid of it.  Today it decided to add a headache leading to a migraine.

I have worked every day this week (10 hours on Wed).  I am taking Vicodin every 4 hours which basically takes my pain from a 10 to a 5.  I have been waking up every 3 hours needing to adjust, apply ice or heat, and take another pain-killer.

I seldom stay down even with a flare.  I push through them.

However,  the trip is 4 1/2 hours without stops.  I would need to stop a lot.  In addition,  my body needs these pain pills right now.   I only use them when I am in a bad flare.  I do not take them when I am going to drive.  I take them after I arrive at my destination.  I know that being in a flare can cause enough “fog” or unclear thinking leading to reaction times not being “normal”.

It was such a hard decision.  I decided to stay home and to what will be a surprise to many of the readers ~ I have not yet gone to work.

I posted this on my Fibro page this week;

This is the perfecthealthy post for me right now.  I am supposed to go to Illinois  by myself this Friday to spend the weekend with my Grandma.  I am in such a flare, pain is highest ever. I know I should stay home even tho it means missing my Grandma and that my husband and Daughter will be off on their own weekend plans.  The guilt is worse than the pain sometimes.  I don’t miss things, I even worked ten hours thru pain and tears because I knew my Mgr needed my help. We do need to take care of ourselves.  Not always an easy choice but the right one.

Many of my FB friends posted two scenarios.  They either make themselves do everything no matter how much pain and suffering they are going through at the time or they miss out on all of the family/friend events that they want so desperately to attend.

I know that I am the first example and am scared to death of becoming the  second.  I personally find nothing wrong with either of the choices.

I think that like everything in life I need to find a way to balance both choices.  I realize that if I don’t take care of myself and keep going I end up worse and then I am no good to anyone especially myself.