Fibro Reality

I have been going to a YMCA type facility since early December and I have been taking up to 5 water classes a week. When I am there – the majority of Women are there so they looked good by swimsuit weather – they don’t need to know that I am there so I can walk the next day.
Today, I went to my consultation at a Therapy facility – there Everyone is there so thay can walk. I start a class on Friday that is specifically for Fibromyalgia patients. The pool was amazing (92 degrees) – the instructor very nice. The warmth was wonderful on my extremely sore and in major pain body. I was fine until I started to get dressed. I started to really look around at the facility. I started to cry. I began to see what could possibly be in my future. Everyone around me needed to have assistance in walking or if walking unassisted was noticeably slow and in pain. The locker room had lots of benches and chairs – no one was standing to get dressed/or/undressed. The shower rooms were large enough for wheel chairs, had chairs to sit in and had the long extended shower heads. It was just too much for me to see. I know that what I saw wasn’t a vision in a crystal ball – and that just because other’s have had this fate that it will be mine. It was just too “real” and the “real” part is – Fibro sucks.

Treatment (Emotional & Physical)

I continued to go to Counseling to try to figure out how to deal with the new obstacle in my life. Many of the things I learned I do on a daily basis. I have breathing excercises, tensing and relaxing my body, cold compacts on my forehead when it is racing, stopping when and emotional situation arises and actually think does this emotion warrant the situation. I am trying to balance. Another thing my Counselor said which made me think was “Last Sunday, when I was in Church – I am certain that I was not praying to you”, his point – It was not my job to make everyone else in my life happy, that I myself was not happy and that could not possibly be “there” for others if I can not be there for myself. He also pointed out that just because someone states something does not make it real. He asks.. is it a statement or a fact. Think about it. I started to put myself first (felt guilty at first), I made a point to start going to water gym classes, (now I am addicted) – it is what keeps me walking, keeps my mind settled. I have tried and continue to try various medicines and vitamins. I am currently on Luxipro (works for me), Vit. D, Multi Vitamin, Fish Oil, Calcium, Vit. B, Tylenol (like candy), Nortryptiline & Melatonin (these 2 for sleeping and migranes). I like all other Fibro patients, have pain every day. The more sleep I have the better I feel. The more excercise in the pool I have the better I feel. The pain does not go away. My main trigger points are my hips, my lower back, my gluets, the back of my next and the headaches. I am very sensitive to the cold and to light. I continue to work full time, have a child in the 5th grade that is very very active in activities (of which I participate in most), and am married (we are currently in counseling – again). Yesterday, I had a good day and did more than normal. I went to a water zumba class, a water gym class – and then went horseback riding in the afternoon. I was sure I was doing too much. Yes – this a.m. was hard to get up, move, and I am sore – but it isn’t a flare up. It is my normal Sunday. I don’t know why Sunday’s are the toughest a.m.’s for me. I am spending a lot of time online – joining some discussion boards – listening to other’s who are in similar situations. I continue to write.. I can’t seem to create poems when I am medicated and balanced – maybe that will come back some day.

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