Another sleepless night

Yesterday, to add to the normal sore, stiff body – my hands and face have continued to lose circulation. I had counseling which did not make matters any better. I took my meds at 8 – should have been asleep by 8:30 – after applying more icy hot, turning up the heating pad, and taking an additional ambium – I finally fell asleep about 2:00 p.m. – Today – more of the same – I have to pick up my GS troops at 1:30 today for a bowling field trip – then I will get to go hit the pool again. I am hoping that an hour in the pool and some time in the hot tub will losen things up so I can sleept tonight. It has taken me over a year +, to have the Doctors finally diagnose me, for me to tell family and friends what I have to do to try to stay as active as possible, and for me to start to deal with it. Now, I hear that some of my own Family – doubt that I have it and that it must be just stress. I thought I had moved past the “It’s all in your head” stage. I was finally feeling that my pain- etc was validated and now I feel like I went ten steps backwards. It is a constant struggle to not share the pain/feelings etc so that I do not sound like a whinning baby – I am so grateful to have joined some good chat rooms to help me feel “normal”.

A new perspective

Today the flare up was at its worse. whether it is the change in weather, the high stress at home, the fact I haven’t excercised since saturday, or just because….. No matter the reason I went swimming tonight, took meds and hope to sleep. I was just done with my fourth meltdown today when I talked to a new friend. She could tell my day by my face. She said she was at the pool also for piece of mind. She works at a hospital. This weekend she watched 3 lives end. A 27 year old overdose, a women who left her children orphans because they lost their dad a few months before, and and infant born 6 months early. I thought of their families and mostly the mom who only had her son for 24 hours . I will get another day …good or bad…I get another day. I am going to try to sleep – and tomorrow will be good .. Because I have a tomorrow.

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