Yesterday, to add to the normal sore, stiff body – my hands and face have continued to lose circulation. I had counseling which did not make matters any better. I took my meds at 8 – should have been asleep by 8:30 – after applying more icy hot, turning up the heating pad, and taking an additional ambium – I finally fell asleep about 2:00 p.m. – Today – more of the same – I have to pick up my GS troops at 1:30 today for a bowling field trip – then I will get to go hit the pool again. I am hoping that an hour in the pool and some time in the hot tub will losen things up so I can sleept tonight. It has taken me over a year +, to have the Doctors finally diagnose me, for me to tell family and friends what I have to do to try to stay as active as possible, and for me to start to deal with it. Now, I hear that some of my own Family – doubt that I have it and that it must be just stress. I thought I had moved past the “It’s all in your head” stage. I was finally feeling that my pain- etc was validated and now I feel like I went ten steps backwards. It is a constant struggle to not share the pain/feelings etc so that I do not sound like a whinning baby – I am so grateful to have joined some good chat rooms to help me feel “normal”.
Today the flare up was at its worse. whether it is the change in weather, the high stress at home, the fact I haven’t excercised since saturday, or just because….. No matter the reason I went swimming tonight, took meds and hope to sleep. I was just done with my fourth meltdown today when I talked to a new friend. She could tell my day by my face. She said she was at the pool also for piece of mind. She works at a hospital. This weekend she watched 3 lives end. A 27 year old overdose, a women who left her children orphans because they lost their dad a few months before, and and infant born 6 months early. I thought of their families and mostly the mom who only had her son for 24 hours . I will get another day …good or bad…I get another day. I am going to try to sleep – and tomorrow will be good .. Because I have a tomorrow.