Change is …a neccessary evil.

Change is …. a neccessary evil.

Most people are resistant to change because it implies adjustment, discomfort and effort. Those who have been dealt an unseen illness have to struggle with others not understanding why.. the change must happen. You don’t look like you need to change or can’t do something. This is the true battle to be faced.
The change that has to take place isn’t something that sounds dramatic. The time you get up (well – let’s say it takes longer). Bed time; needs to be on time; hope to goodness gracious you actually sleep once the pain of lying down subsides, the mind slows down and the meds kick in. Physical activity – is reduced to what can be done – however water therapy has been found a must. Resting is a necessity; movement is a necessity; finding the perfect combo.. tiring. Eat healthy (may have to go Gluten free).
I have had a flare up for 2 weeks now. I should state it has been the most painful time I have ever in my life experienced. I have not slept more than 3 hours a night; of which the 3 hours was a very light sleep. The pain was not centralized to the usual target points. The pain was from head to toe quite literally. The headache turned to a migraine. By the end of the day the feet were swollen beyond recognition. I have had large marble size trigger points starting in the neck, between the shoulder blades, lower back, hips and side of the thighs. The hot sunburn feel of the arms increased. I read an article on “How to dress for Fibro”. It basically said loose fitting, no skin touching clothes and just strip when you get home. How true the feeling. It will be interesting this winter when I am wearing tank tops and flip flops in a 20 below snow storm.

So after 2 weeks of pain, no sleep and crying.. (oh yes – depression has hit hard), I finally “caved” and went to the Doctor. I tried to see the “internal pain doctor”, found out he is available twice a month – so.. when I was told the plan that I get steroid shots when I am in a major flare – they forgot to tell me that I have to plan my flares to coordinate when the “doc is in”. I made an appt to see my doctor. I had taken 2 tramadol … (not a good idea – if not at home) – drove to the doc.. and here is the plan.
Change; Meds again – add a steroid pack, increase gabapentin, increase nortriptiline, add water pills… get sleep – get my butt back to swimming – alleviate stress. (HA – don’t ya love that one).
After much thought – why was this flare so hard and so long. What did I do or not do to deserve this pain? Too much travel (sitting in a vehicle for long distances – sleeping in a bed not my own), not swimming, heavy work load, a very stressful home environment, school back in session (wow.. lots more than I thought), my time of the month, dramatic weather changes – and I am sure there is more reasons – but really does it matter. I really don’t care why it happened – I am just thrilled it is slowing down.
I tackled swimming and grocery shopping today; I am surviving. Hitting bed in a half an hour. Praying for sleep. Thinking as I go to bed.. what are the changes in my future that I need to make m as healthy – mentally and physically. So as a person – opposed to change – I foresee that I need change to be the person I need to be.

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