Accepting Assistance

Originally posted on November 13th, 2015 at

I recently attended the TAP pain conference in Washington D.C.  I was surrounded by chronic pain patients and those who treat them. During this trip I realized that I really haven’t accepted that it is okay to ask for help especially while traveling.

On a previous trip and returning home with a connecting flight in Denver. The plane landed at gate 20 and I had only 10 minutes to reach gate 84. I ran on the moving sidewalks carrying my backpack and wheeled carry-on. I was able to use the electric cart service for 20 gates.  I do not think it was faster but it gave me time to rest so that I could make it the rest of the way. I was filled with panic reaching the gate in pain, exhausted and barely able to move.

My inability to admit that I needed help caused me such pain. I could have used the curbside wheelchair assistance offered through the airline. The service helps passengers in boarding, deplaning and connecting with their flights.

I have more friends that use the extra assistance when traveling then I have that do not and each time that I am using airplane travel they ask me “Are you going to request assistance?”  “I haven’t reached that point yet” is always my reply.

My friend, Diane explained the reasons she chooses the assistance.  “They take care of the luggage for you. You don’t have to lug the heavy luggage to baggage check.  They know their way around the airport.”  She also said “the airport is such a wide open space without railings or walls to hold onto as we walk to be sure that with our poor balance we do not take a tumble”.

Why not save your energy for your upcoming trip or so you do not add to the body fatigue you are already experiencing? If I used the help available to me I could possibly avoid the pain or at least lessen the severity.  Is it pride?  Is it not willing to admit that at that moment my body and mind needs help?

Throughout the trip I began noticing how easy it was for my friends to use the services available.

A group of us were walking into the hotel after site-seeing. We were all tired anImage result for wheelchair silver buttond hurting. I pushed on the first door feeling the heaviness hurting trying to hold it open for the next person.  She promptly reached over and pushed the handicap button to open the door.  As I approached the second door opened automatically and I walked right through.

Why endure the pain of pulling or pushing that heavy door when the solution is so easy?

Although, I have never pushed that big silver button I have looked longingly at it immediately thinking what would others think when seeing me use it.  I do not use a cane or a walker and on most days, I look healthy with the exception of a slight limp.

This big silver button with a picture of a wheelchair specifically states it is reserved for handicap only.  I looked at the women walking into that hotel together we probably had a total of 50-80 diagnosed diseases/syndromes.  If that isn’t handicapped then what is?

Our hotel did not have refrigerators are not in every room.  My roomie(Tami) had called ahead requesting our room have a refrigerator for “medical reasons”.  I thought clever but it had never crossed my mind that it was true.  She reminded me “you basically live on ice packs to get through the night”.  She was right.  I don’t know many “normal people” that use 2-3 ice packs nightly to be able to fall asleep and swap out for cold ones in the middle of the night. She was right. A refrigerator is a medical requirement for me.

I have learned to travel during the early afternoon so I can sleep as late as possible. Most hotels have an 11:00 check out time.  Tami had requested and been granted a 1:30 p.m. check out.  It was wonderful.  I slept until 11:00 and had 2 1/2 hours to get prepared for the trip home.

When we were ready to leave the hotel she then called the front desk to ask for someone to help with our luggage and bring the car around.  I am really new to traveling and did not even know it was an option.  When traveling by myself I struggle with taking the heavy luggage out of the room into the elevator hoping one of the doors does not shut on me.  In addition, lifting the heavy suitcases into the trunk of the car.  This very nice man came to our room and loaded all of our suitcases on to the luggage cart. He escorted us down the elevator to the front of the hotel where our car was waiting for us and put the suitcases in the trunk. It was so worth the few dollars tip.

One thing that has helped me is to use the online check-in feature paying for bags and printing boarding passes the day before travel. I have a wheeled carry-on and a backpack that carries all of my medication, sunglasses, spare tens unit pads and wires.

At many airports travelers can apply for one of the several Trusted Traveler programs. If approved they are able to move quickly through security clearance. I wear my Tens unit when traveling. I alert everyone at security and all that has changed is that the unit and my hands are swabbed for explosives.

The D.C. trip was powerful in many ways.  I realized that I had been thinking because I am still able to work that I am not “disabled” or “bad enough” to use the assistance available.

I am still able to work because I have found the balance of medications, sleep, exercise, supplements and Integrative therapies to help me continue.

I was always an “I can do it myself” type of person prior to Fibromyalgia and it’s evil sidekicks. I had to change my way of thinking. I am only able to continue doing the things I do in my day to day life because I do ask for help and assistance when I need it.

It is time for me to embrace another change & continue this way of thinking when I travel.fibrowarriors logo



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5 thoughts on “Accepting Assistance”

  1. This is one of the most useful things o have read in a long time. I appreciate your time and effort to send it out to us! Thank you.

  2. thank you so much for sharing this I learned a few tips from you! thanks again and take care always love reading your post.

  3. Oh thank you. It’s as if I was reading about myself: Superwoman with Fibromyalgia.

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