Have you ever entered a friends house without them apologizing for how the place looks? “Please excuse my mess_______ (fill in the blank with your choice of why the house is a mess). Most of the time you enter the friends house and think this is what they think is bad? This is my place on a good day.
It doesn’t matter how clean the place looks we never feel it will hold up to others standards.
I think of all the “excuses” I have heard from others. Kids are little, was gone all weekend, haven’t been home all week, everyone has been sick,
A friend was telling me about a house that she was helping prep to go on the market. The house was owned by a 80+ year old who lived alone and had began to show signs of dementia. She started telling me it had not been truly cleaned in a long time. A few of the many examples she gave me was there were cobwebs on the tops of the curtains, the back splash in the kitchen was not clean and bathroom tiles were dirty.
I could hear the judging, the sound of disgust in her voice I know partly it was because it fell on her to clean the place.
The only thing that was going through my head is that I did not want her to see my house.
My house is always picked up. It isn’t what I would consider cleaned. I can guarantee that our TV stand has dust on it, the mud room needs to be swept and the pictures in the hallway need to be dusted.
Prior to getting sick I would be up early to make breakfast, prepare dinner and do some cleaning before I went to work. After coming home from work I would run errands, finish making dinner, do chores around the house and still have time to play games on Facebook and watch TV before going to bed.
It takes longer for me to do the tasks on my to do list than others. Any overexertion can cause more pain and exhaustion.
The first few years of being ill I would try to be the wife/mom that could do it all and still have a clean house. I would pay for it later. I refused to let my illness keep me from going to all of our daughters school/sporting events.
Slowly, I began to allow myself the rest time I needed and cut myself some slack.
Now, 8 years into my new life I have prioritized what is most important. I have accepted the fact that I can not do it all. I have learned to put my health before the chores around the house. I choose to use my energy to make memories with my family and friends.
After all, dishes can wait life can’t.